Popcorn AND Candy
by eyrianone
Summary: Post-Ep Castle musings for 'Law & Murder'. "That's it." Beckett replies. "I'm taking you . . . my treat." "I can't," he lies. "I have plans." Beckett shakes her head. "Not anymore."


**Title: Popcorn AND Candy.**

**Pairing:** Castle/Beckett

**Author:** Eyrianone

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** Anything you recognize is not mine but Andrew Marlowe's and ABC's.

**Summary:** Post-Ep Castle musings for 'Law & Murder'.

'That's it'. Beckett replies. 'I'm taking you . . . my treat.' 'I can't.' He lies, 'I have plans.' Beckett shakes her head. 'Not anymore.'

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><p>As the elevator doors are closing he smiles inwardly far more brightly, far more deviously than he lets show on his face. The facial smile is sincere enjoyment though; as Kate begins to fill him in on every reason she can think of why he's simply going to love 'Forbidden Planet'. At some point in the future he knows he'll come clean about the fact that this is a movie he's seen maybe a hundred times. He'll tell her 'why' he feigned ignorance of the movie, its place in popular culture and his intimate knowledge of it. But tonight, tonight it's a perfect, perfect, excuse to spend more time in her company.<p>

Away. From. Work.

Alone.

On a 'date', even if it's just a date between 'friends'.

Because while Kate is still involved with Josh, everyday he's coming to hate it more. Just as everyday his own love for her consumes just that little bit more of him.

Alexis is pretty much all grown up, and less dependant on him than she's ever been, so the amount of time he finds himself free – unoccupied – it increases. He fills a lot of it with writing, and on solving cases with Beckett. But there are many evenings these days when he finds his mother out, his daughter occupied with her boyfriend and himself . . . lonely.

He spends most days with Kate Beckett, and yet the more time he spends in her company the more of her time he wants. She's like a drug, she's an addiction and the only thing he wants to do is to feed his habit, he craves her.

Kate, outside of work, and still his, it's his dream.

At the twelfth, at 'work' he's claimed his place. His chair next to her desk, his position as her 'shadow' has evolved into 'partner' and it's not important that he isn't a member of the thin blue line for real, because he's accepted, by Esposito, by Ryan, by Captain Montgomery and most importantly by Beckett. He calls himself her 'partner' and she lets him. He understands how huge this is.

But this, this linking of their arms as they walk through the parking garage to his SUV, this being the one she's spending her off hours with, this is the place that he longs to fill.

To be the one she sleeps next too, the one she falls asleep with. Weekends, holidays, long nights making love, long weekends in the sun. Dinner and breakfast, movies and nights spent in front of the TV fighting over the remote. Arguments and make-up sex, her laughter and her tears; he wants it all, and he wants it for always.

He's ready to dive in, can't she see?

It scares him to death that he'd marry her tomorrow if he could get her to agree.

But then he's never loved like this before has he? Not Meredith, not Gina and he married them.

The funny thing is he thinks, as he drives them to the movie theatre and they debate where they can park, the funny thing is . . . he already knows more about Kate than he did about either of his ex-wives when he married them.

And if he's honest with himself, and these days the only way he can think straight, is to be brutally honest with himself in his thoughts, is that he married both Gina and Meredith because they were beautiful, they wanted him and the sex was good.

His reasons for knowing he wants to marry Beckett are so different.

Though she's beautiful, though he hopes he can make her want him, though he imagines the sex would be amazing, he _knows_ she would give a marriage everything she has in her to give. He _knows _that she will be an amazing mother, the kind every child deserves. He _knows_ he will never tire of her company because he never does. He _knows_ she's the best shot at happiness he'll ever have, because making _her_ happy, seeing _her_ smile, hearing _her _laugh, watching _her_ move, listening to _her _talk . . . this is where he's found his bliss.

Kate makes the songs make sense.

He links his arm in hers again as they make their way to into the theatre, and he sighs happily inside that at least tonight he's where he wants to be. And maybe by the end of it one step closer to forever.


End file.
